Got anyone who needs April Fooling?

Do you have a sql*plus user who really needs an April Fool’s joke played on them? With a little editing to their glogin.sql, every sql*plus session will exit with what appears to be a pseudo-random TNS error.

(Note: assumes a *nix environment that has sed, grep, awk installed and oerr properly working.)

[oracle@localhost ~]$ cd $ORACLE_HOME/sqlplus/admin
[oracle@localhost admin]$ mv glogin.sql glogin.old
[oracle@localhost admin]$ vim glogin.sql
 
--Added by APRIL FOOL
 
set echo off
set feedback off
set verify off
set head off
col the_err new_value myerrno
col the_user new_value uname
set termout off
select 
'125' || decode( to_char(sysdate,'SS'),'01','61','06','64','07',
'66','17','69','30','70','53','71','59','82', to_char(sysdate,'SS')) 
as the_err
from dual;
select user as the_user from dual;
set termout on
clear columns
prompt ERROR:
host oerr ora &myerrno | grep -v '//' | sed 's/"//g' | awk -F, '{print "ORA-" $1 ": " $3}'
prompt SP2-0751: Unable to connect to Oracle.  Exiting SQL*Plus
exit &myerrno
 
--End added by APRIL FOOL
 
:wq
 
[oracle@localhost admin]$ sqlplus "/ as sysdba"
 
SQL*Plus: Release 12.1.0.2.0 Production on Thu Mar 31 17:50:39 2016
 
Copyright (c) 1982, 2014, Oracle.  All rights reserved.
 
 
Connected to:
Oracle Database 12c Enterprise Edition Release 12.1.0.2.0 - 64bit Production
With the Partitioning, OLAP, Advanced Analytics and Real Application Testing options
 
ERROR:
ORA-12539:  TNS:buffer over- or under-flow
 
SP2-0751: Unable to connect to Oracle.	Exiting SQL*Plus
Disconnected from Oracle Database 12c Enterprise Edition Release 12.1.0.2.0 - 64bit Production
With the Partitioning, OLAP, Advanced Analytics and Real Application Testing options
 
[oracle@localhost admin]$ sqlplus "/ as sysdba"
 
SQL*Plus: Release 12.1.0.2.0 Production on Thu Mar 31 17:50:52 2016
 
Copyright (c) 1982, 2014, Oracle.  All rights reserved.
 
 
Connected to:
Oracle Database 12c Enterprise Edition Release 12.1.0.2.0 - 64bit Production
With the Partitioning, OLAP, Advanced Analytics and Real Application Testing options
 
ERROR:
ORA-12552:  TNS:operation was interrupted
 
SP2-0751: Unable to connect to Oracle.	Exiting SQL*Plus
Disconnected from Oracle Database 12c Enterprise Edition Release 12.1.0.2.0 - 64bit Production
With the Partitioning, OLAP, Advanced Analytics and Real Application Testing options
 
[oracle@localhost admin]$ sqlplus "/ as sysdba"
 
SQL*Plus: Release 12.1.0.2.0 Production on Thu Mar 31 17:51:02 2016
 
Copyright (c) 1982, 2014, Oracle.  All rights reserved.
 
 
Connected to:
Oracle Database 12c Enterprise Edition Release 12.1.0.2.0 - 64bit Production
With the Partitioning, OLAP, Advanced Analytics and Real Application Testing options
 
ERROR:
ORA-12502:  TNS:listener received no CONNECT_DATA from client
 
SP2-0751: Unable to connect to Oracle.	Exiting SQL*Plus
Disconnected from Oracle Database 12c Enterprise Edition Release 12.1.0.2.0 - 64bit Production
With the Partitioning, OLAP, Advanced Analytics and Real Application Testing options

Disclaimer – use at your own risk to workplace harmony!

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